johnlink ranks HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES (2003)

When I made a commitment to watch a good number of horror films this month, I knew that I was going to be watching some low-ranked stuff. I mean, you don’t go into some of these films expecting, consistently, the quality of film of LET THE RIGHT ONE IN. So, I watched HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES not expecting much. I got less then I hoped for.

This is a ‘film’ about a family of killers preying on local tourists.

I watched HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES (2003) on 10.6.09. It was my first viewing of the film.

NOTE: THIS RANKING UTILIZES THIS SITE’S ORIGINAL SYSTEMIC ARTICLE WRITING METHOD. THE METHOD BY WHICH THE RANKINGS WERE ARRIVED AT, HOWEVER, REMAIN THE SAME.

FILM

I understand what Rob Zombie was trying to do, I really do. I know he loves horror movies, and is a scholar on the genre. His love comes through, with references to the old FRANKENSTEIN stuff and the inclusion of about every horror movie cliche there is. And therein lies the problem. I hear his sequal was better, that he learned how to assimilate and use these ideas rather than just dump them all into one movie. And this movie is schizophrenic and oftentimes misdirected and pointless. And I’m, frankly, a little sick of these horror movies which just want to kill the entire cast and let the bad guys win. That, I must say, is not something out of horror’s history. That is a newer phenomenon, that the old films used (when they did venture there) to make a point, rather than to ensure that there was one more killing. SCORE: 3

MOVIE

One of the most unwatchable films of the year. I think I pulled an orbital muscle from rolling my eyes so often. I couldn’t even really laugh at it, because it was so brutal. The scene where a killer holds a gun on a cop’s head for a good fifteen seconds, so we can sit in anticipation of the murder is pointless. We are meant to feel the cop’s fear, to feel that anxiety. But the cop is a bit douchy from the beginning, and because everyone else is dying we know exactly what will happen to him. That is not how tension is created. SCORE: 1

ACTING

Did not realize that THE OFFICE’s Rainn Wilson was in this. He is not spectacular. The only performace of any merit is Zombie Moon’s family daughter. She is creepy and effective, her overacting actually working. The overacting on the part of the rest of the cast is not creepy, or unsettling, or powerful. It is merely forced, campy, and uninspired. There were at least a dozen lines where I thought “Really? There wasn’t a better take of that?” SCORE: 2

WRITING

Contrived, not funny. not focused. Whether you like Rob Zombie’s HALLOWEEN remakes or not, there is no denying that he vastly improved as a filmmaker. This film just was not there. And why, may I ask, is there a brutal killing of two robbers in the beginning? What is the point other than to show senseless violence? I was hoping that moment would have some relevance latter. Nope. SCORE: 1

FINAL SCORE

FILM: 3; MOVIE: 1; ACTING: 2; WRITING: 1

3+1+2+1+0= 7

FINAL SCORE: 1.75

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~ by johnlink00 on October 6, 2009.

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