johnlink ranks CRITTERS (1986)
It’s been awhile since I’d put on a silly horror film of this sort. This was New Line’s answer to the previously successful Gremlins. Except, in this flick, the small soft furry things ARE the enemies.
I watched CRITTERS (1986) on 2.9.11. It was my first viewing of the film. TRAILER HERE
So in a movie of this sort, what are we looking for? We want some sympathetic characters to root for. Check. We want some silly goofiness from the little furball aliens. Check. We want some later famous celebrity to die an early death. Check (Thanks for playing, Billy Zane). We want to laugh. Check. We want some gore, but we’re not looking for HOSTEL like torture-porn. Check (Surprisingly, this is a PG-13 flick. Would be R today). We want a satisfactory climax. Well… maybe not quite so much.
This movie knows what it is, and gives the requisite laughs. It’s flaws? Well, it takes a long time to get to the good stuff. More family drama than is needed. There are a couple of alien bounty hunters who are much less interesting than the rest of the film. I could have done without them. And considering they barely factor into the climax, I’m not sure what they were doing there in the first place. If this were remade today, I’d ditch them and just stick with the family-stuck-in-the-house drama.
This ain’t JURASSIC PARK, okay? The effects are cheesy, but the first set of eyes we see are creepy enough to get us going. After that, we get a lot of fur being thrown by off-screen prop guys. Heck, the best effect in the film has to do with the house in the last few seconds.
Did I get what I wanted out of this? Sure I did. I laughed a bunch and smiled through the entire thing. But I still think I’d watch GREMLINS before CRITTERS.
SCORES
FILM: 3; MOVIE: 7; ACTING: 4; WRITING: 3
3+7+4+3+0=17
FINAL SCORE: 4.25
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