johnlink ranks THE ISLAND (2005)

My love/hate relationship with Micahel Bay is well documented throughout the annals of this blog. I enjoy his sense of action and epic grandeur, but deride his treatment of women and his inability to hold a shot longer than four seconds. I watched THE ISLAND for the second time last night. In many ways this was what led to TRANSFORMERS,  and all that went wrong or right with that series. THE ISLAND was the last film Bay has directed that is not a TRANSFORMERS film. Some SPOILERS below, though you’ll probably figure it all out in the first five minutes anyway.

I watched THE ISLAND (2005) on 7.4.11. It was my second viewing of the film. TRAILER HERE

In many ways, this film is a lot like I, ROBOT except we trade out robots and bring in clones. In fact, the liberating shot at the end of the two films are almost identical (up to and including their shoddy CGI). Here we have clones who are bred and raised only to be replacement parts for affluent folks. Of course, the clones don’t know this. When their name and number is called, they believe they are being whisked away to an island, not to their death.

Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johnsson play our heroes, while Sean Bean provides the accented bad guy (in fact, if you have an accent in this film you are bad, though you may have a chance to redeem yourself if you want). They break free from their confines and are aided by a quirky Steve Buscemi.

I should point out at this time that JOHNLINK MOVIES has no sponsors. But that is ok, because THE ISLAND has enough for all of us who don’t. My question is this: Why would a company want to put its name on products made for clones who will never ever be consumers? Why is the Puma so big on the shoe? Why is XBOX paying to have a giant emblem on the wall? Why is Aquafina needing to make sure their water is noted? I understand why these companies wanted to appear in a Michael Bay movie, but the placement of their products is handled in such an absurd way that it doesn’t lead to any kind of good reaction.

There is a lot of typical Bay stuff in this. People get out of vehicles in slow motion as they are filmed from awkward angles (every Bay film). People throw stuff off the back of a truck at the cars chasing them (BAD BOYS). Steve Buscemi acts crazy and sexually deviant (ARMAGEDDON). Someone who has no business being able to fight is able to take down trained killers (THE ROCK). The camera swirls around muscular black men wearing black clothing with ‘police’ stenciled across the front (both BAD BOYS). Characters fall from absurd heights and live (TRANSFORMERS). Etc, etc.

While this film moves along at a zippy enough pace to maintain a certain entertainment level, there is way too much eye-rolling required of the viewer. This falls into my evil Bay category.

SCORES

FILM: 3; MOVIE: 7; ACTING: 4; WRITING: 3

3+7+4+3+0=17

FINAL SCORE: 4.25

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~ by johnlink00 on July 5, 2011.

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