johnlink ranks STAG NIGHT (2008)

Nope, this isn’t a porn movie, STAG NIGHT is a horror flick set in the NYC subway wherein a group of people get chased by cannibals. The title is thanks to the fact that the proceedings occur on the night of some guy’s bachelor party. I recently talked about how I don’t have time for crappy movies anymore. I followed that comment up by watching the terrible SALT and then this piece of garbage on back-to-back nights.

I watched STAG NIGHT (2008) on 4.9.12. It was my first viewing of the film.

I watched this because of its short run time and because it stars Breckin Meyer who I’ve liked since he played the lead in ROAD TRIP. Unfortunately, 83 minutes is too long and Meyer doesn’t do anything worth noting, so I was doubly disappointed.

So in this movie a group of 4 guys and 2 girls end up stopping a train and getting off on a stop which hasn’t been a real stop since Watergate. They wander around, trying to find their way back, and end up running afoul of a bunch of cannibals. The premise itself isn’t a failure, it is the execution which is a failure.

Writer/Director Peter A. Dowling utilizes a bunch of BOURNE-inspired shaky cam to shoot the chases. A lot of people complain about this style, but I’ve always liked it. But under the direction of Dowling, much of these shots are unwatchable. There isn’t enough light, the camera moves WAY too much, and the cuts happen so quickly that it becomes nearly impossible to decipher what we are seeing. Some of that may be attributed to watching this on my iPad, but I did the same with the dark WRONG TURN, and didn’t run into any problems there.

Some of the biggest problems the movie has are that it is predictable, underwhelming, and unnecessary. I started thinking about shutting it off at the 40 minute mark, and when i finished it began questioning why I hadn’t. Even the dumb horror-staple button on the end of the film, negating everything we just saw, was more annoying than most.

I also just didn’t believe these people wandering around the bowels of the NYC subway system never found: A) cell service B) an exit point C)a call box D) another stop. They end up back where they started, up levels, down levels, in a weird little underground community… everywhere but somewhere safe. And they wander for three hours. Maybe I am naive and this is possible, but it just seemed so silly.

They attempt, in the dialogue, to connect the title, STAG NIGHT, to the tradition of soon to be married men being sent out to hunt a stag as proof he is man enough to marry. Apparently hunting a stag in the woods is the same as being attacked in the subway by a  bunch of crazy people. Go figure.

I’ve already talked about this for too long. I wish I had something better to report, but this is the cliche straight-to-video horror movie I should have expected it to be.

SCORES

FILM: 2; MOVIE: 4; ACTING: 4; WRITING: 2

2+4+4+2+0=12

FINAL SCORE: 3

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~ by johnlink00 on April 10, 2012.

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