johnlink ranks THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (2003)

Just minutes after finishing Fritz Lang’s master work, M, I moved on to something… different (and I am publishing this very late). The Michael Bay produced TEXAS CHAINSAW isn’t exactly legendary. I remember being indifferent towards it in theaters, but I bought the DVD because, well, back then I bought everything on DVD. This is a bit of a digression, but if any other person in the history of the world has done a double feature of M and THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE I’d be surprised.

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I watched THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (2003) on 3.16.13. It was my second viewing of the film, and the first since it was in theaters a decade ago.

I didn’t go into this year planning to work my way through the TCM canon. I watched the original in January, and that viewing reminded me of why it is so highly regarded. I then watched the 2013 3D sequel, and that turned out to be (at the risk of sounding hyperbolic) one of the worst movies I have ever seen. So what think I of the Bay-produced remake from ten years ago?

It’s really not that bad. I mean, it isn’t art. It isn’t intense to the level of the original. But so many reboots or sequels of beloved horror franchises fail. FRIDAY the 13th was a dud. NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET was bland. But this TEXAS CHAINSAW is legit. Would it be better remembered if not for being a reboot? I think it would be.

Jessica Biel is a step above many of the heroines brought in to be chased around in short shorts and a barely there tee shirt. She is very likable and very sweet. Her group is filled with people you want to live. This is not an example (like the new movie made this year) of a movie in which you are supposed to cheer on the killer. The fear mongering works here.

R. Lee Ermey plays the Sheriff in a bit of prop casting which you can see right through (he even calls people maggots). But this isn’t offensive on its surface. He actually does a nice job playing the disgusting head of a terrible little place in hell. There is zero nuance but, really, who cares? He isn’t there for nuance.

This movie is directed by reboot aficionado Marcus Nispel. He has done a poorly received Frankenstein TV Movie. He directed the reboots of FRIDAY THE 13th (terrible) and CONAN THE BARBARIAN (which, I hear, is terrible). So, really, I have to give some credit to Michael Bay, as much as it hurts me to do so, for making sure this TCM doesn’t go off the rails. There are some nice shot compositions, believe it or not, which balance out the grime and grit of the situation. I can’t believe I’m writing this, so I’m going to stop.

Anyway, this is a well put together horror movie. I like it. I actually like it. Thus endeth this brief article.

SCORES

FILM: 5; MOVIE: 8; ACTING: 6; WRITING: 6

5+8+6+6+0=25

FINAL SCORE: 6.25

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~ by johnlink00 on March 27, 2013.

2 Responses to “johnlink ranks THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (2003)”

  1. I liked this one too, and Biel was hot 🙂

  2. Oh this one….I really need to watch this completely. The whole watching it in theatres hiding under my jacket for a good half of the movie didn’t work too well. Its not hard to creep me out but this one really did a number on my nerves….

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